Odin Allfather: God of Parenting
Odin: Now, young children of mine, here's all the reasons why frost giants are evil, nasty, terrible creatures who don't deserve to live. Not even a little bit.
Thor: Cool! I'm gonna kill them all when I grow up to be king!
Loki: Me too!
Odin: You guys rock. By the way, I'm not going to tell you flat-out that Thor gets the throne - let's just say you were both born to be kings. Yes. Seems best.
- LATER ON -
Loki: Jesus Christ, Thor is just fucking shit up left right and center.
Thor: LOOOOL HAMMER WAR THUMP WEE!
Loki: Good thing we're equals, and all. Both born kings, and all. BOTH ASGARDIANS, AND ALL.
Friends of Thor: Shut up, Loki, you're just jealous and want Thor's throne.
Loki: ...I kind of never said that.
Loki: By the way, can anyone tell me why I'm blue?
- SO AFTER THOR GETS SENT TO EARTH -
Odin: Son, you're adopted.
Loki: WHAT.
Odin: Also you're a frost giant.
Loki: WHAT.
Odin: Of course, I may have raised you to hate frost giants...
Loki: WHY DID YOU KIDNAP ME AND PRETEND I WASN'T A DIFFERENT SPECIES?
Odin: Um, political reasons.
Loki: SO WHEN YOU SAID WE'D BOTH BE KINGS...
Odin: I meant of a frosty, nasty planet you've only been to once while trying to attack your, um, cousins.
Loki:
Odin: Not that that'll ever happen, now that Thor's gone and fucked shit up.
Loki:
Odin: So you don't really have a use, now, and you're not even really Asgardian, so...
Loki:
Odin: Yeah. Probably should have told you sooner, eh?
Loki: YOU-
Odin: Odinsleep!
Loki: GODDAMMIT.
Loki: YOU'RE THE WORST DAD EVER, YOU KNOW THAT.
Loki: SHIT YOU'RE NOT EVEN MY DAD.
Loki: YOU PROBABLY KILLED MY DAD.
Loki: GOD.
diarrheaworldstarhiphop:
thegoodsonisbad:
chandlerhandle:
thegoodsonisbad:
chandlerhandle:
thegoodsonisbad:
chandlerhandle:
thegoodsonisbad:
chandlerhandle:
thegoodsonisbad:
diarrheaworldstarhiphop:
thegoodsonisbad:
yepperoni:
do you guys remember that episodfe of the magic school bus where the class gets transformed into fish eggs and get fertilized with fish semen
i guess this trip was really
the cream of the crop
Why, are you admirang salmon reproductive styles and would prefer us not to fish for puns?
i think you’re just setting up a red herring to draw the attention away from yourself
i can already see how badly these puns will escaleate
i’ll have your head on a pike if you don’t knock it off
its over
our fates are sea eeled
these jokes make me puke like i got salmonella
THERES MORAY THESE COMING
you’re doing this shit on porpise
are you shore about that accuseation
i’ll feel a wave of relief when this shit is done with
YOU WILL ROE THIS DAY, THE CONTINUED FLAGRANT EGGSOLENCE DISPLAYED WHEN̶͈̜̆͞ ̸̮̼̹͚͗́͐Ị̧̗̣̞͕̻̖̲̄̐M̸̥͙̟͛̔̅̇͘͞ ̴̫̠͙̣̲ͨS̨̞̜̼̭͓̝̮͉͇̊ͩ̆͒̈̈̋̚͡P̶̠̙̙̖̝͇̲̱͇ͥ͊̌̅̎ͨE̫̱̼̯̅̽͂͋̊̈́̑ͧ͞A̝̼͔̍̿͡K̷͍̙̜̮̹̰̗̊̏͊ͯ̀Ĩ̢̪̥͚̲͇̘̥̓̄͜Ń̪̞́̂̐ͨ̿͑̎̇G̘͔͚ͥ̅ͣ͌ͮͧ̈́ͦ̕ ͎͕͙̬̖͖̙͑̍̈̏ͧ̓̈́͆ͭͅT͇̗͔̏͛͂͊͑Ŏ̶̧̫̜̣͇̜̗ͣͯ̆͡ ̷̡̬̮͚͈̻̭̲̝̙͎͚̭̹̆͑̊̊̌͑ͬ͆̂̄ͯ͌̂ͬ͘͜͟Y̧̦͍̩̮̫͔̲̗̻̪̤̠̔̉̍̅̆̋̽̍̈́̾̅̄͌̏ͯͮ̐̔͘͞ͅǪ̛̰̟̲͈̻̻̎͊ͧ̍͗ͧ̋ͤͨ̾͞U̧̜̮̬̫̭̻̰͓̘ͧ̎̄ͪ̌͑̋̾̍ͮ͗ͪ́
